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“In other words, reason has little power over you, and you are by nature, soft, sensual, yielding.” “Were the martyrs also soft and sensual by nature?” “The martyrs?” “On the contrary, they were _supersensual men,_ who found enjoyment in suffering. They sought muslim girl fucks guy with strapon out the most frightful tortures, even death itself, as others seek joy, and as they were, so am I—_supersensual.”_ “Have a care that in being such, you do not become a martyr to love, the _martyr of a woman_.” We are sitting on Wanda’s little balcony in the mellow fragrant summer night. A twofold roof is above us, first the green ceiling of climbing-plants, and then the vault of heaven sown with innumerable stars. The low wailing love-call of a cat mature white women fucks asian guy rises muslim girl fucks guy with strapon from the park. I am sitting on muslim girl fucks guy with strapon footstool at the feet of my divinity, and am telling her of my childhood.

“muslim girl fucks guy with strapon And even then all these strange tendencies were distinctly marked in you?” asked Wanda. “Of course, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have them.

Even in my cradle, so mother has told me, I was _supersensual._ I scorned the healthy breast of my nurse, and had to be brought up on goats’ milk. As a little boy I was mysteriously shy before women, which really was only an expression of an inordinate interest in them.

I was oppressed by the muslim girl fucks guy with strapon gray arches and half-darknesses of the church, and actually afraid of the glittering altars and images of the saints.

Secretly, however, I sneaked muslim girl fucks guy with strapon as to a secret joy to a plaster-Venus which stood in my father’s little library. I kneeled down before her, and to her I said the prayers I had been taught—the Paternoster, the Ave Maria, and the Credo. The sickle of the moon was my light and showed me the goddess in a pale-blue cold light. I prostrated myself before her and kissed her cold feet, as I had seen our peasants do when they kissed the feet of the dead Savior. “I got up and embraced the beautiful cold body and kissed the cold lips.

A deep shudder fell upon me and I fled, and later in a dream, it seemed to me, as if the goddess stood beside my bed, threatening me with up-raised arm. “I was sent to school early and soon reached the gymnasium. I passionately grasped at everything which promised to make the world of antiquity accessible to me. Soon I was more familiar with the gods of Greece than with the religion of Jesus. I was with Paris when he gave the fateful apple to Venus, I saw Troy burn, and followed Ulysses on his wanderings. The prototypes of all that is beautiful sank deep into my soul, and consequently at the time when other boys are coarse and obscene, I displayed an insurmountable aversion to everything base, vulgar, unbeautiful. “To me, the maturing youth, love for women seemed something especially base and unbeautiful, for it showed itself to me first in all its commonness.

I avoided all contact with the fair sex; in short, I was supersensual to madness.

“When I was about fourteen my mother had a charming chamber-maid, young, attractive, with a figure just budding into womanhood. I was sitting one day studying my Tacitus and growing enthusiastic over the virtues of the ancient Teutons, while she was sweeping my room. Suddenly she stopped, bent down over me, in the meantime holding fast to the broom, and a pair of fresh, full, adorable lips touched mine. The kiss muslim girl fucks guy with strapon of the enamoured little cat ran through me like a shudder, but I raised up my _Germania_, like a shield against the temptress, and indignantly left the room.” Wanda broke out in loud laughter.

“It would, indeed, be hard to find another man like you, but continue.” “There is another unforgetable incident belonging to that period,” I continued my story. “Countess Sobol, a distant aunt of mine, was visiting my parents. She was a beautiful majestic woman with an attractive smile. I, however, hated her, for she was regarded by the family as a sort of Messalina. My behavior toward her was as rude, malicious, and awkward as possible. “One day my parents drove to the capital of the district. My aunt determined to take advantage of their absence, and to exercise judgment over me. She entered unexpectedly in her fur-lined _kazabaika,_2 followed by the cook, kitchen-maid, and the cat of a chamber-maid whom I had scorned.